Barrett's Lapdog Responds "I still get 10x the birds you do"

Following moderate criticism of Constantine AFC President Oscar Barrett, his lapdog Alex Fidgeon-Keeler jumped to his defence by sending in this bizarre statement.

"I still get 10x the birds you do."

Quite what that has to do with Barrett or the criticism of him is unclear. The use of 'birds' to describe women is plainly sexist and something we can frankly do without. However, Alex Fidgeon-Keeler is obviously very proud of his sexual exploits and felt this was the right time to share.

Despite his wonky face, it's well known that FK does like to get overly drunk and inappropriately touch truly horrendous women until one of them agrees to sleep with him. Most people keep their kinks fairly private but Alex decided to reveal he would like to pay people to hit him in the face, which is troublingly masochistic to say the least. We recommend you never hit people in the face, even if they ask you to.

Alex, if you're going to respond, try not to make it about your sex life please. No one cares.